in with the new

Strange, yet soothing

There is cabbage in my bra.

Nursing Breakup

I've been holding off making this entry until it was officially official. I was hoping we'd go back to it, but we haven't. Mason isn't nursing anymore. He's fine with it, since it was his decision. The last time was midnight on August 3rd. (I write everything down, I didn't remember that date/time.) I tried one last time 3 nights ago when teething woke him. He arched his back away from me and cried harder when I offered nursing comfort. He wanted some Tylenol, teething tablets and to be sung to and snuggled close.

I'm sad that the nursing came to an end on his terms rather than when I was ready. I was hoping to nurse past his first birthday, at least for comfort at night, and to sleep. He had other things in mind. We now have a new bedtime routine: bath, dinner, fun relaxation time, books, bed. (His old bedtime routine was bath, books, boob, bed.) He's becoming a big boy, a sad and exciting thing.

This week, I've been pumping to give him bottles of half breast milk, half whole milk. This morning I didn't have enough milk to pump. My supply is running very low to empty. Today his morning bottle was all cow's milk. (Which he likes pretty well.)

Today I started to think about the benefits of not nursing. Some things are superficial, like excitement over buying pretty bras, which I haven't done in over two years. I am looking forward to having my body back. I googled "weaning benefits" and didn't find much. Most of the hits I got for that were for benefits to the baby, the later you wean. I need to think more about the good I've done for Mason's health, and how much I will cherish the special time we've had.

Here I am, putting a positive spin on things to get over the nursing breakup. I've had some time to come to terms with it. In the end, I am extremely happy that I can still give Mason comfort and we can still snuggle and be close. I'm glad I was able to (almost!) achieve my goal of nursing for a year.

Bitey

I am sad today. I had to feed Teethy McChomperson 3 oz. of formula last night. Mr. McChomperson wasn't focused on the nursing before bed. (He wasn't focused on the whole bedtime routine...) He bit me so hard, it still hurts now. He bit a few times before the hard bite. Each time I took him off and told him, "mommy wants to keep nursing you, but she can't if you hurt her". And then CHOMP, and the boob went away.

That's the first non-mommy made milk I've fed him since day 1. I am going to keep trying to nurse him, at least until the first birthday when we make the (gradual) switch to whole milk. I'll probably still nurse him when he wakes up at night, as long as my supply holds up.

I'll miss nursing him. I really like the special time we have together. I love when he rests his top arm over my boob. I love when he falls asleep nursing, or when I nurse him back to sleep in the middle of the night. I love holding my heavy, sleep-laden baby, with his peaceful face and straight mouthed expression. I hate being bit.