in with the new

good deeds...

When I give up my seat on the subway to an older person or a child, am I doing it just to be nice? Am I doing it to feel good about myself, since I see so many people NOT giving up their seat? Am I doing it for good karma, so when I'm pregnant or old (or both, heh) someone will give ME a seat? Does it even work that way? Am I selfish for feeling good or wanting goodness in return for a good act?

There was an episode of Friends, The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS where Phoebe tried to prove that a good deed wasn't selfish. Joey says, "It made you feel good, so that makes it selfish. Look, there's no unselfish good deeds, sorry." And then she spends the rest of the episode trying to prove him wrong ("I'm gonna find a selfless good dead. I'm gonna beat you, you evil genius.") because, "I just gave birth to three children and I will not let them be raised in a world where Joey is right!" Even her good deed at the end is deemed selfish because even though she is donating money to PBS, which she hates, she feels good about getting Joey on TV for collecting her donation.

But maybe feeling good about doing something nice isn't selfish. It's not like a person wears a sandwich board advertising their good deed, so they can get a pat on the back for it. They may just be doing it to be polite. When I hold the door for other people, it's not a good deed. It's more the way I was raised, to consider other people. I always hope it's a non-door holder that I am being polite to, so that maybe they'll "pay it forward" that door holding. Hmm, something to think about on a Monday!

evil marketing geniuses

sarafem is a drug introduced to the public in 2001 by the prozac people. prozac's patent was up, which means generic drug companies could sell it for less. they needed a new star. so the evil marketing geniuses at eli lilly took prozac, gave it a face lift, a new wardrobe, a role in a summer blockbuster and a hot 25-year-old boyfriend, and called it sarafem.

sarafem is for women with "PMDD" (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder). this site lists the following as symptoms of "PMDD":

• Markedly depressed mood
• Marked anxiety
• Marked affectivity
• Decreased interest in activities
• Feeling sad, hopeless or self-deprecating
• Feeling tense, anxious or "on edge"
• Persistent irritability, anger and increased interpersonal conflicts
• Feeling fatigued, lethargic or lacking in energy
• Marked changes in appetite
• A subjective feeling of being overwhelmed or out of control
• Physical symptoms such as breast tenderness, swelling or bloating

most of these are regular symptoms of pms. get yourself a hot water bottle, take a nice bubble bath, watch some Queer Eye and go to bed. don't take a drug marketed by evil geniuses.

the evil marketing geniuses told women that they needed a special drug for pms. it was prozac in a shiny new wrapper. and without calling it "prozac" and by treating this new "mental disorder" instead of depression, it takes away the stigma that prozac has. and that's why i hate those evil marketing geniuses.

those evil geniuses should do more good, like the gap ad with missy and madonna. now that is genius.

right-hand ring?

i saw an ad from adiamondisforever.com in a magazine. it was for a "right-hand" ring. it made me SO mad. the ad basically said that the wedding ring hand is boring and the right hand is flashy and fun. i don't like the implications it is making about being being married and not being an individual and not being fun. in addition, it is making a sucker out of people with this new marketing scheme.

i did an internet search and found a few things that really bugged me. here is the following article:
Coming in Sept-October, 2003 will be the next big Diamond Promotion Services promotion, The Right Hand Ring!!! The Right Hand Ring Promotion will be more fashion oriented than past promotions and is more directed towards women buying for themselves. The way The Diamond Promotion Service sees it, the diamonds on the women's left hand is a symbol of a relationship and the right hand is a symbol of you.

Why is The Right Hand Ring gaining momentum? Market research has shown that many women like to wear a ring on their right hand but have not had a large selection of diamond fashion rings. This is about to change!! Single women now can purchase a Right Hand Ring because, if for no other reason,to feel good about themselves, married women can wear diamond rings offering more selection and style ---------and for men-------a Right Hand Ring opens a whole new opportunity to give a diamond ring to that special someone!!!!!

there are plenty of "diamond fashion rings" out there already without this weird twist.

i found this quote:
Your left hand lives for love. The right hand lives for the moment.

ARGH! that is SO stupid. i live for the moment, i'm married. i never stopped being who i was because i got married. anyone who becomes a "them" and stops being an "i" after they get married buys into all the hype and stereotype of marraige. that's crap, and this is just feeding that crap to make an even bigger pile of crap.

here's another excerpt from some horrible article (i'm all fired up about this!):
There will be a lot of discussion between the new diamond promotion, The Right Hand Ring, and Diamond Engagement Rings. They will be very easy to distinguish. A diamond engagement ring is given as a symbol of love, relationship and commitment. The Right Hand Ring was created to show self expression, fashion, and your creative taste.

While the emphasis for The right Hand Ring can be self purchases by women, men should not feel that they shouldn't purchase them. This is far form the contrary because the right hand ring opens up many gift opportunities.

my mom had her engagement ring reset a number of years ago, and it shows her self expression, fashion, and creative taste. you know, a so-called right-hand ring can be given as a symbol of love, relationship and commitment, just like a left-hand ring.

PLUS, two of the above articles stress this... hey boys! if you weren't confused enough about what jewelry to get your lady, add this expense to the confusion! don't feel you shouldn't purchase them! it's a whole new opportunity! yay!

thanks a lot marketing people, for lighting my fire today. i was going to go on a rant about serafem, but i'll save that for another time.

blackout musings

the consequences of the blackout that you hear and read about are usually the most extreme cases. for example, my pregnant friend was stuck in an elevator for an hour and THEN walked 70 blocks before she was able to call her husband to pick her up. or the people trapped in the subway who had to walk underground for blocks before coming out into the sunlight. or the looting in the shoe store in brooklyn.

what about the not-so-extreme cases? like what if you were getting a brazilian wax, and you were half done at 4:10 when the power went out? that's it! you're done! it's not like you're getting a massage by candle light. the wax pot is plugged in, the wax-lady is using a fancy light... you are DONE. half done at that! yikes and ew!

i bet there are a bunch of funny cases like this. (well, funny to me.) i'm going to think about it while i'm on the beach this weekend.

rackin frackin @!#@ at&t!

last night, i called will's cell and it was disconnected. we were on the phone for over an hour with 4 or 5 different people from at&t wireless trying to straighten everything out. here's what happened... before april, we got one bill for both our phones. both were in my name, because i got will his first cell in '99. will switched to m-mode in april. the brainchild that sold him his phone entered him into the computer as William Middlename, instead of William Lastname. in ADDITION, that brainiac changed his address on the account to somewhere in tenafly, nj. so we continued to get a bill for our wireless service, but it was only my phone. neither one of us noticed. fast forward to yesterday. his service was off, the payment(s) were 126 days past due, there was a good amount of money owed... why don't you read the complaint letter will wrote this morning?

update!... 4:21pm
will got a return email. i added it to the link above!

oh, river

just poking my head in to share this collage that i stole from someone's signature on a message board. i had pictures all over my walls of river pheonix when i was a teenager. i may still have them tucked away somewhere... maybe under my pillow, i'll have to check. i was very sad when he died, halloween 1993. if he were still with us, he would still be making movies now and he'd be wicked hot.

there are some interesting tidbits in his imdb biography! Lots of songs dedicated to him...

• The song "Transcending" on The Red Hot Chili Peppers album "One Hot Minute" is dedicated to River Phoenix.


• The 1994 R.E.M. album "Monster" is dedicated "for River" in the liner notes (lead singer Michael Stipe was friends with him).


• Natalie Merchant wrote a song, "River", which is in memory of him.


• He was supposed to be the interviewer in Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles (1994) but died. Christian Slater took his place, and donated his entire paycheck from the movie to all of River's favorite charities. (Wow!)